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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?